That's right, folks. Jimbob's doing a blog on a subject that's not to do with his life! And instead, giving an over-opinionated and pompous view on today's music, games and films. Hell, if Jimmy Carr was invited to take over the awesome Commercial Breakdown series, then goshdarn it, I can express my opinions on things unhumorously also.
(This blog is also inspired by the works of Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw at Zero Punctuation. Man, that guy's cool. And he speaks fast.)
Anyway, without further ado, let's start off with the last thing I've seen on TV at the moment - Biffy Clyro are back! And this time, they're pushing my patience. "Mountains" is their latest single, and, granted, "The Biffy" have never been wordsmiths or poets of any kind... but why start now, and even worse, fail?
Now, as you may well know, I really liked Biffy Clyro, and in some respects I still do. Some of their singles were breath-takingly awesome, and their albums were pretty good too (buy "Infinity Land". Do it.) but after the success of their latest, "Puzzle", last year, they're becoming too up-their-own-a$$es and starting to succumb into the sell-out category. Green Day did it after a decade or so, Fall Out Boy... well, they were BORN sellout... but I can't stand to see a band start so far under-the-radar - and a semi-decent one, at that - turn into the latest craze.
Not that I have anything against those who follow the latest trends or anything, but the point I'm trying to get across is that I can't help but shake the feeling that Biffy Clyro are doing it for the money more than their fans.
Have you seen their latest video? If not, turn on your bloody TV, man. There's no escaping two men; coincidentally, the same guy in two different costumes... play one-sided chess with one another as two Oriental ninjas (one with some potentially cool swordy things, should they not happen to look like they came out of a Poundland sale... and the other with - that's right - a mop.) try to kill each other for their master's amusement. That is, until one of them falls over. Then both Titans [the same guy in different costumes, of course] stare each other down and introduce themselves.
The makings of a good video? Sorry, Biffy, but that was bollocks, and you had better improve. You're not artistic miracle people, so stop trying to pass yourselves as such, dangit.
(If I do end up downloading "Mountains" and you find out, please hit me. I owe it to myself after publishing this blog.)
So what is my favourite song of the moment? Well I'm actually going through a Weezer phase at the moment. After the success of the "Pork and Beans" video, I've decided to download a few classics from their earlier albums. "Island In the Sun" is a nice, quiet one. For the slightly heavier Weezer, "Hash Pipe" works too. Or, if you love Weezer videos and the Muppets (why? But then again, who doesn't...) then see the video for "Keep Fishin' ".
Anyway, shall we move onto films? Now don't get my first paragraph wrong - I didn't mean the newest films OF TODAY, just those I've seen lately. And I'll start off with one that's taken me a whole two days to watch, what with Sky only showing the nearly three hour Director's Cut of it.
The film? The 1988 classic, "Cinema Paradiso".
Being one of my father's favourite films of all time, I decided to give it a go. [Before I continue, I warn you - it's Italian and has subtitles. Sorry to disappoint :>] And, it starts out as a light-hearted comedy about the antics of a young boy in Italy. It's funny. After a while, however, he grows up, starts going out with a beautiful girl, etc. etc. We've all heard it before.
Or have we?
For some reason or another, he leaves town. Then we join him when he comes back, and he's old and grey. He stalks his past lover, he explores the remains of his childhood (but I'll explain that later), and so on. Of course, he finds her, she's like "we can't start seeing each other again" (there IS more of a back story to this, but I'd save it for those of you brave enough to see the film for yourselves), and that's about it on the love front.
Then, of course, you have the nostalgia side. The kid starts off as a little trouble-making scamp who is friendly with this guy who shows films in the "Cinema Paradiso". The kid, of course, wants to learn how to do it, and eventually he does. Awww. Anyway, one day the film in the cinema-rolling-thing catches fire, as does the Cinema. The man of which the kid is friendly with (named Alfredo) is stuck up there and is blinded.
Poor bloke. Of course, we're led to grow to like this man. Naturally.
OH! I forgot to mention, right at the beginning of the film, there's a phone call saying that Alfredo's dead. Hence the "two and a lot" hours of nostalgia.
Anyway, the main guy's in his teens and has fallen in love. Alfredo's still around, running films and solving the guy's love crises. Then something happens of which I can't remember, and Alfredo tells the guy to leave town and never come back, for his own good.
He comes back or Alfredo's funeral, of which you see the important tear-jerking bits. Of course, MANY years have passed. Also, you see Cinema Paradiso, the old building that it is, get demolished. Watching old men cry while the young'uns drive their mopeds around in sheer thrills is... kinda sad.
There's a lot of tear-jerking bits of the film (and I hold my hands up, it was SO depressing that I nearly did, too). Which brings me to make my concluding point about it - this film is a sheer torturer. Don't get me wrong, it's a truly touching film and everything, but COME ON! No-one should have to be brought into the comedy, as we expect the whole film to be full of it; of course, that heightens the blow at the end when nothing is as it was in its "golden age".
It makes me scared of growing old.
Then again, it's not far different from my favourite film of all time, again Italian and subtitled, entitled "Life Is Beautiful". Put the puke-bags away and listen, boy! It's about this Jewish Italian family who live a happy, fun life until they get taken into the Concentration Camps of war. However, the main guy has a son, and manages to convince the son that it's all a fun game. The ending makes you feel like a better person for watching it, though.
Anyway, that's my music and film side done. Just one more... video games; the height of technology, and sometimes the status symbols of nerds. Hell, I'm a nerd, and I'm proud of it.
Without further ado, I'll talk about something of which I'm not too much of an expert on, and unless you've ever classed yourself as a "gamer", you probably won't understand what I'm talking about. However, I've seen enough webcomics and other related game sites to have a slight idea about what I'm on about.
E3; a thing of which new gaming feats are announced for the following year or so to come, including new consoles, games, and so forth.
The thing I want to talk about is this: no-one's given it a good review of what I've seen. And what does that mean? That absolutely nothing's gonna come out in the next year or so that'll change the gaming revolution forever. Don't get me wrong, I like the same old games. I'm on my third playthrough of Final Fantasy XII, for example [yet the second playthrough got corrupted near the end, and this time I'm writing an FAQ for www.gamefaqs.com].
So, why the mention of E3? Well, If I may make my own views of the aftermath effects - and there are a couple. For a start, everyone on the internet that's been to E3 of their own accord and given it a bad rating really needs to get out more. Sure, that's a lot coming from me, but come on; these are grown humanoids who whinge that technology of which is already remarkable is getting better at a slower rate than usual.
Then again, I can see one side for the proposal; gaming companies are taking the money-grabbing route out, and have been for far too long. Video games used to be a successful medium (listen to me, I'm so pretentious!) but unless I want the latest High School Musical game now on the DS, or treat my trusty PlayStation 2 with Doctor Who's Top Trumps [a highly technological way of finding out which numbers are bigger than which other ones, I suspect] then there is feck all.
I am most looking forward to FFXIII, but only if it doesn't ONLY hit PS3. I'm not made of money, and I'm surprised that so many have come to the mad conclusion that £300 is more than sufficient to experience their games which can, in about 90% of cases, be bought for the MUCH cheaper Xbox 360 (of which I haven't got yet).
However, one next-gen console I do own is the Wii, and it's pretty awesome, but with one fatal flaw; there are next to no decent games out for it! I bought it (well, got it for Christmas) thinking that Super Monkey Ball and Zelda: Twilight Princess would see me through the year. I got bored of both within a month or so. Shame. As for the games I don't have but want, well, there's the new Super Smash Bros. game, for a start. That does look pretty awesome... and whatsmore, Pokemon: Battle Revolution [*gulp*]. It seems to be some light-hearted fun...
But my point still stands. If you can't live without video games, stop whinging to all of us who'd like to think that we have lives. You might just convert others to hardcore anti-socialism. PUT IT AWAY.
And with that, I must take my leave and cook myself a Pasta 'n' Sauce. Chow. xxxx
(PS: this long blog makes me even for the last two shorties? Thanks. Don't expect this everyday, though :P)
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